from holding on to letting go
tag: mason // January 30th, 2031

As much as Nasir would have liked to say he could have been okay if it had just been the darkened hair, he knew that was far from the case. It was far more than that, in fact, considering that not only was his hair darker but one of his eyes was a darker shade of brown now.

Yet none of that compared to the fact that his hair had grown down to his mid back. The formerly silver-haired (seemingly) young man had woken without a watcher but then considering he was actually no longer crystalized he supposed that they were not as worried about him.

Did not mean he would not end up with one soon enough, considering he was still out of sorts. Would they be if they had seen his hair grow this long over the course of however long it was he slept? Nasir could not say for sure. but what he did know was that there was a knock on the door to his rooms within the Crystal Palace.

Nasir was moving about without thought as he still tried to look for anything that was not a knife to deal with his hair. Actually, now that he thought about it ... Nasir could not remember the last time that he had cut his hair. It had maintained the same length for countless centuries and now, as an insult to injury, it was growing for the first time in practically a millennia.

Giving in, Nasir went to the couch and sunk down onto it and buried his face in his hands. What was going on with him?

Even when there was a knock on the door, he did not raise his head up. "Come in!" he called out, figuring that whoever it was was likely already coming in; they were just being polite with the knock.

He knows it was many moons ago that Nasir was his playmate, his best friend of sorts when he felt like he had no one to turn to when his parents were off dealing with Elysion matters. Of course, he wasn’t ever alone really, but a child would think they were if not being accompanied by their mother and father more often than naught. He had Nasir, the Maenads, and the Heavenly Kings, but none could replace the other, so when one was absent, it felt wrong to the young Prince back then.

And despite knowing Nasir’s duty to him, the Kings and Elysion, he felt utterly devasted alongside that grateful feeling, both mixed together as a tender touch of concern. But they definitely were not out of troubled waters yet. Even if he was uncrystallized he could only imagine what could’ve been done internally or worse – spiritually.

The King was far better than his Queen when handling his emotions, but it didn’t take away the fact that he had them, when Nasir was asleep, he was frantic. He was restless so when he wasn’t sleeping he was bothering Cynthia because she was as restless when it came to watching both of them, so both lacked sleep for a while and even now he felt restless until he was certain Nasir was out of danger. He had forsaken his own safety for all of theirs and in return Mason was grateful.

“It’s me, Nasir.” He’d announce once the others’ voice rang out for permission to allow his entry, his knuckles would refrain from brushing in knocks now and he’d open the door slowly. The change of his hair color and the length of hair was definitely telltale signs of something being wrong, something that Nasir would try to endure on his own without much complaint.

“How are you feeling?” He would’ve given a joke about the new hairdo but it was not the time for that, instead, he’d inquiry about the well-being of the other over trying to lighten the mood considering he felt it should be heavy for all of the pain and suffering Nasir potentially went through without anyone else but Cynthia possibly being able to relieve him of. Mason’s expression was that of guilt, pained by his inability to stop Elysion’s takeover, to stop his subject’s pain,

“…I…” For a moment he doesn’t know how to express his apology, but he had to make it known, that Nasir’s effort was not taken for granted, “…I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. You saved everyone. Thank you.” In front of Nasir, in front of the Kings, sometimes he felt like that young Prince again that couldn't stand up in the right moments to protect what he loved.

(This post was last modified: 30 Sep 2020, 06:32 PM by Mason Rochester.)

Normally, Nasir would have immediately brightened at the sight of Mason--it was nice to not be within Elysion alone, save for the Maenads--but there was a certain level of guilt that bubbled up because he had made everyone worry. After all, he remembered, all too well, Cynthia reminding him (albeit gently) that he was not alone anymore. He did not need to try and shoulder the burden himself.

... even if ...

No, it was fine.

"Mason," greeted Nasir with a lopsided smile. He was doing his best, really he was, but his own feelings coupled with that of Mason's, it was hard to keep a lid on things. "I am as okay as I can be?" he offered, because it was the truth, even as Mason's expression--and his emotions--seemed to flicker all over the place. It was not easy for Nasir to lie, it simply did not suit him, and moreso when it was someone who had--and was--important to him.

Nasir blinked rapidly, getting up and moving quickly to catch Mason. For a moment he paused, realizing his hair was another inch longer, before simply ignoring it and going to catch Mason's hands. "Mason, thanks isn't what I want." Even if he understood why Mason said it, even the insecurity and otherwise underneath it. After all: Nasir felt those emotions as if they were his own. "I do what I do so that you can do more. You're still at full strength, able to act as necessary when the time comes."

There was a pause before he added with a sigh. "Besides: I could have at least attempted to see how the combined power of the Golden and Silver Crystals did instead of just acting." Even though his true fear had been that it would have continued to sap at them slowly, forcing both Cynthia and Mason to divert part of their strength to deal with the constant flow of Chaos and corruption from Elysion. One hand fell away, pressing to his chest and rubbing gently in remembrance of the pain of the black roses. It just was not something he had been willing to risk. (Even if thoughts of Nehelenia were odd, of late. Nasir found himself thinking about the Queen of Nightmares more since he had awakened.)

"I'm not even sure what the full ramification of what I did is." There was a slightly frustrated gesture towards his hair. "The point is that my way--doing what I did--it wasn't the only solution, just the one born of me immediately reacting."

(This post was last modified: 19 Oct 2020, 05:31 AM by Nasir Vasile.)

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